With all the bad stuff happening in the world of sports, I'm reminded of just why Lino Rulli can't be considered part of the worst life has to offer. Here are six bad things athletes have done that Lino would never do.

1. Burn your hometown fans for a better place. Remember this summer when Lebron James left Cleveland on live television for Miami (speaking of Ohio, happy birthday to former intern Krista, a resident of the state)? We'd never see Lino do that? Sure he left Minnesota for NYC, but the man always shows love to his former state, rooting for the Vikings and letting the state of lakes honor him with a special day.

2. Using performance-enhancing drugs. Today it was announced that U.S. Olympic sprinter LaShawn Merritt was suspended for using banned substances. And while Lino has admitted on air to dabbling in unsavory things in the past, we've never seen him suspended from work for roiding up. In fact, that overnight show was done with nothing more than Five-hour energy. Lino Rulli is clean.

3. Send bad photos to Jets employees. Lino's personal dating coach Anthony Buono still appears on the program. I doubt that would be the case if Lino was using his iPhone for evil purposes. All jokes aside, we know he represents The Catholic Faith well in his dating life, speaking positively of the merits of a chaste lifestyle. W00t!

4. Putting late hits on others. Sports Illustrated writer Peter King made note of the late hits that popped up with ugly regularity in Sunday's football games. Would Lino ever take a cheap shot at someone else? Maybe. But only to Gus Lloyd, and those two are friends. No penalty.

5. Sucks badly at your job. As Lou's Dallas Cowboys testified yesterday, sometimes you are just bad at your job. Listening to Lino for three hours a day shows just how much he isn't like the Dallas Cowboys: Lino actually succeeds in his profession.

6. Cheers for the Vikings. Well, five out of six ain't bad.