The Worst Case Scenario Guide to Lino Rulli's Vocation Search

A few shows ago, during vocation talks, Lino Rulli mentioned with a firm tone of voice that he would let his contract run out in a year and a half and leave the radio.

That would be cause for alarm, but he's still discerning, and a year and a half is quite a ways away. So rather than create a mock newspaper page announcing the shocking news that Lino spouted out, I came up with 12 scenarios of what *could* happen to the show depending on which vocation Lino goes to, ranging from the best-case scenario to the absolute worst-case scenario.

And by worst-case scenario, I'm talking purely in terms of us, the listeners. We have faith that, even in a worst-case scenario, Lino would be doing what God leads him to do, rendering our opinions **** when compared to God's greater plan.

Away we go.

1. Lino stays single for the kingdom of God. Like a priest, only no sacraments, no dating and the church isn't paying his insurance.

Best Case Scenario: Lino continues to do the show. He stays in New York, concentrates on work in the media. Without worrying about dating, he is free to devote more time to the show and to his production company. More time spent on these projects means more satisfaction with his job, creating a happier, less-stressed Lino Rulli. Lino really enjoys life because of this, and stays with The Catholic Channel for another 15 years.

Iffy Scenario: Lino continues the show, steps up his media work to fill the void left by not dating. However, he still feels lonely, running all of these "What if" moments through his head on things he could have done differently in the dating life. He's a little sad, but he still sucks it up and does the show, although the audience is able to sense the loneliness, increasing their pity for him. Lino does the show for another seven years before moving away.

Bad scenario: Lino is clearly unhappy without dating in his life. It really shows, both in his professional and personal life, creeping in like a poison. Lino gets so pissed off by his state of affairs that he ditches the states for a life in Italy, hoping to get on board with God's plan.

Worst case scenario: Lino pulls a Papa Rulli, becomes an organ grinder, and spends every Friday night getting hammered with Fr. Rob and Marty the Cop until he's an old, decrepit, senile man.

2. Lino successfully navigates the dating world and gets married.

Best case scenario: Lino has the wedding of a lifetime. Plenty of buildup on the show, with most of the listeners absolutely elated for him. The wedding gets broadcast on The Catholic Channel, with Father Jim Martin doing the wedding for Lino and his Italian Catholic bride. Lino goes on a three-week honeymoon (with a week of shows hosted by Lou and Maureen), and sticks with the show for the next 11 years, giving us new insights into life as a married man.

Iffy Scenario: Lino gets married, but doesn't really mention it on air, citing a newfound desire to separate his private life from the stuff that gets aired on The Catholic Guy Show. The marriage is great, but is a little more stressful than Lino thought it would be. He sticks with the channel until 2016, whereupon he decides to focus more on TV work, as he desires to spend more time with Mrs. Rulli.

Bad Scenario: Lino gets married, and doesn't renew his contract due to a too-hectic life, leaving the listeners absolutely clueless on married life with Lino.

Worst Case Scenario: Lino's wife dumps him cause she's a stupid, stupid broad. Lino spends another 10 years in counseling, and decides to stay single forever. The stress causes the show to immediately get cancelled, abruptly ending one of the greatest shows in the history of radio/television. Lino is later set up for assassination by his former wife at the hands of the Catholic Taliban.

3. Lino becomes a priest/joins religious life

Best Case Scenario: Lino joins seminary/a religious community. Sensing his gift of the radio, his superiors tell him to keep doing the show while getting an education and training to become a man of the cloth, since he's reaching so many people via radio and TV. Even though he won't be getting paid for his radio work, it's such a great ministry that he'll continue to do it out of love. It's a busy life, and Lino will end up cutting back on his schedule (perhaps even airing a replay on Mondays), but SiriusXM will end up getting "The Catholic Guy with Fr./Br. Lino" for the next 20 years.

Iffy Scenario: Lino stalls, afraid of commitment, but goes into seminary/religious life. The training/education puts a huge strain on Lino that he leaves The Catholic Channel in three years, and the show ends before his ordination. Lino makes a great priest/brother, but the lack of media (other than a podcast) puts a dent in an otherwise solid career.

Bad Scenario: Lino quits the show when his contract is up, and goes into religious life/seminary. The only way any listener can keep up with his life is through a poorly updated Facebook account.

Worst Case Scenario. Lino abruptly quits and decides to become a hermit for The Faith. He disappears into a cave in Guadalajarra, where only his parents, goddaughter, Bill Arnold and Mark Hart have any contact with him. Maureen and Lou stay in the 4 p.m. ET time slot with this guy as a host.

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