We're nearly ready to go for the Lino Rulli Roast live journal. Here you can keep up with our
lame
witty commentary on the event. And we're hoping that we get to hear the end of it tonight.
It's go time!
6:04 p.m. "This is where we roast the ham!" exclaims Brett siddell, the roast master. Lots of Ham references tonight. "Glad to be out of the cold..I don't have very good housing." Siddell said. "It was your idea" Brett said about the roast. "He's going to regret this for the rest of his life."
6:06 p.m. Brett's comments: "You really do get us a lot closer to God...cause we all die inside when you are around. If you make eye contact with him, he'll talk your ear off for hours... He looks like Gonzo from the Muppets. At least Gonzo has the guts to hit on pigs."
6:08 - A lot of canned laughter. Too much commentary from Lino as well. Most roasts have the host silent without a microphone. OK, minor gripes out of the way, this Roast is much better than I thought. "I tried to put Generation Cross at the top of my NetFlix que, and they just laughed at me," Siddell said. He also got in a dig at Fr. Rob, saying Atlantic City has his wallet.
6:11 - "If a robber broke into his apartment, he'd be thrilled that someone actually came to visit him," Siddell said. Nice zingers from Brett, but then again, he is a standup comedian.
6:12 - Joe Zwilling up next. The director of communications for the Archdiocese of New York and of programming at The Catholic Channel. Obligatory jab at Rob (tiny shoes to fill). "You weren't the first choice to fill the producer job Maureen...the balloon boy parents, John from John and Kate Plus 8, Sangia, Optimus Prime, all were too busy... I've been working for the church for 27 years, spent time with Mother Theresa, but you were responsible for the best day on the job, when you came to us with Happy Hour, and I got to tell you that you stunk."
He mentioned contract negotiations being like giving a kid a Coke and candy...you don't want to, but you just want him to shut up! "As far as I'm concerned, I'll give you anything you want if you'll just leave!"
6:17 - "Speaking of big tasks, Bob Dunning is going to try to be funny next," Brett said. "Bob does his show in diapers..what's the secret behind Bob's show? Depends."
6:18 - The great thing on having a four little ones is that we save money on diapers just buy the once size fits all." Bob is a good sport to take the joking.
6:19 - Bob Dunning: "I didn't know if he told me he won 14 emmys or told me one emmy 14 times."
6:22 - Fr. Jim Chern up next. "Thank you for inviting me for another TCC first...can't think of a better way to say Happy Birthday Jesus than tearing apart one of his children...great to be among so many Catholics here..oh I didn't see you there Maureen...Fr. Rob, when you play roulette, do you play Black for your priestly duties, Red for your hair, or Zero for your social skills."
6:25 - "Lino you think you're smarter than most priests, you have less ladies in your life than most priests," Chern said. "Lino is so catholic and so italian he sweats extra virgin olive oil."
6:27 - Good job by Fr. Jim Chern on the roasting. Right behind Brett for best humor of the night.
6:28 - Gus Lloyd up next. Among his prerecorded zingers: "I'm surprised you're letting me on the show, since you call it such a dog and pony show. Then I started thinking about it, and I thought you know he likes dogs so much ... I'm sorry, didn't know I wasn't supposed to talk about your dating life."
6:32 - Scott from across the hall stopping by for the roast. He does pop into the office from time to time, according to Brett. From Scott: "The Willits show is like if the old woman in the shoe married a wookie... It will be a special show when Angelina Jolie shows up to adopt one of their children."
6:35 - More from Scott: "So appropriate to roast Lino at this time of the year..Lino is more like a turkey, he just struts around and craps on everything...Even the Lord can't make a lame man funny...but if you really want an example of catholic charity, it's giving Lino a show...It's appropriate to have a priest follow Lino's show, it's good to have someone on hand to administer last rites on Lino's career... (On Lino's nose): The jaws theme plays when Lino does the backstroke."
6:38 - Is it just me, or did Scott steal the show? And after tonight, Lino has GOT to have Scott on the show more often. The guy is hilarious.
6:41 - Back from our only break of the hour. They should have that do that more often. Greg Willits up next.
6:42 - Willits rebounded from a less than stellar open (insinuating that Brett had a thing for Lino). "If they hired us based on a recommendation from Lino Rulli, that would explain why our salary is so low," Willits said. "Lino loves himself so much that he set up a web cam in his apartment that only he can watch...Lino likes to remind everyone about his accolades. Take his emmy awards, that puts him in the same category as Al Gore and Barack Obama cause noone knows quite what they did to earn awards either."
6:47 - Fr. Rob up now: "I always thought Lou would make a great Catholic priest...you've already taken a vow of poverty. Youre the only poor person I know that spends 60 dollars a day on protein powder..."
6:48 - WOW. Talk about Sirius dropping the ball...they interrupted Fr. Rob and The Roast to start Notre Dame pre-game basketball. Talk about taking the wind out of the sails. This really makes me mad as a Sirius subscriber. Worst thing is, we didn't get to hear any of Lino or Fr. Dave's jokes.
Why does Sirius pre-empt programming for PRE-GAME stuff. We're talking about pre-game. Not a game, not a game. Pre-game! I hope that the replay tonight won't get cut off like that. I suggest that everyone visit http://www.sirius.com/customercare and let them know that, as subscribers, we do NOT stand for this shoddy treatment
That basketball deal really sucks. FAIL. BOO. CURSES.